


Lance's housing for demons and instability

by Jazzybug



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Crack, Established Keith/Lance (Voltron), Established Relationship, F/M, Gay Keith (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, Hunk and Shay are the purest couple, I appreciate the fact that thats a tag, Keith and Lance have a healthy relationship, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, M/M, Multi, Pansexual Hunk (Voltron), Pining Allura (Voltron), Pining Matt, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Shay is innocent, Shiro Matt and Allura are all pining over eachother, Text au fic, and give advice to the group, broganes, but are really stupid, i love my children, they seem really fun to make idk, yes i am making one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-21 09:31:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12454491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazzybug/pseuds/Jazzybug
Summary: In which 5 struggling college students and 3 graduates have a group chat together





	1. New Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> Im procrastinating on my other fics i have in store but oh well

**Lance** has created a group chat

**Lance** has added  **Keith, Hunk, Shiro, Pidge, Allura** to **New Conversation**

**Lance** has changed their name to  **razzledazzle**

**razzledazzle:** HEY THERE KIDS

**Keith:** Why did you make this, Lance?

**Keith:** What purpose did you think it will serve?

**razzledazzle:** obv it serves the purpose of having a gc and having constant communication with each other !!!

**Pidge:** hey fuckers

**razzledazzle:** smh pidge such crude language

**Pidge** has changed their name to **berd**

**berd:** dont tell me what to do i can destroy you

**Hunk:** settle down now we've only just gotten here

**Hunk** has changed their name to **MasterChef**

**Shiro:** oh for fucks sake its you guys

**Keith:** Um??? Excuse me???

**Shiro:** Did i stutter

**Allura** has changed their name to **PrincessBitch**

**PrincessBitch:** oh shit its a group chat fuck yeah

**Shiro:** i regret all of my life's choices.

**razzledazzle** has changed **Shiro** to **Spacedaddy**

**Spacedaddy:** oh fuck no

**berd:** lance ur a blessing

**razzledazzle:** i try ;)

**Keith:** Why am I dating you?

**razzledazzle:** bc i love u babe  <333333

**berd** has changed **Keith** to **Lancesbitch**

**Lancesbitch:** What?!

**razzledazzle:** what the fuck no pidge

**razzledazzle** has changed **Lancesbitch** to **loveoflanceslife**

**loveoflanceslife:** No I don't want this name either. How do I change it?

**razzledazzle:** babe????!!!! ;(

**loveoflanceslife:** Wait no I'm sorry.

**berd:** whipped

**MasterChef:** Pidge no

**Spacedaddy:** My adopted brother has finally found his love :'))))

**loveoflanceslife:** No stop how do I change it.

**loveoflanceslife:** Not that I don't love you Lance, I just don't need this pollution.

**razzledazzle:** i cant believe you call our LOVE POLLUTION

**razzledazzle:** KEITH WHAT HAPPENED TO  _US_

**berd:** smh keith. you broke his heart.

**MasterChef:** He's currently crying on the couch, Keith. Apologize for breaking his heart.

**PrincessBitch:** can't believe he broke my little brother in theory's heart

**Spacedaddy:** I'm not angry at you Keith,

**loveoflanceslife:** No, Shiro, Stop.

**Spacedaddy:** Just

**loveoflanceslife:** NO!

**Spacedaddy:** Disappointed.

**berd:** OH SHIT

**razzledazzle:** HE PULLED THE DISAPPOINTED LINE

**berd:** Rip Keith

**PrincessBitch:** Shiro i appreciate you.

**loveoflanceslife:** I hate you all.

**loveoflanceslife** has left **New Conversation**

**razzledazzle:** no come back :(

**razzledazzle** has added **loveoflanceslife** to **New Conversation**

**loveoflanceslife:** Tell me how to change my name.

**berd:** no

**razzledazzle** has changed **loveoflanceslife** to **KeithDarknessDementiaRavenWay**

**razzledazzle:** There ;)

**PrincessBitch:** lance omfg

**KeithDarknessDementiaRavenWay:** ???

**berd:** ;))

**KeithDarknessDementiaRavenWay** has changed their name to **Kogayne**

**razzledazzle:** damn it

**Kogayne:** Shiro just showed me how to change my name.

**berd:** wtf shiro ruining our fun

**Spacedaddy:** We've tortured him long enough

**MasterChef:** I don't know why I'm friends with any of you

**razzledazzle:** Because you love us???

**berd:** ew feelings

**PrincessBitch:** idk either tbh

**MasterChef:** *deeply sighs in despair*

**razzledazzle:** ooo we need to change the name of the gc

**Spacedaddy:** Good point, so what do we rename it to?

**berd** has renamed the chat to **Lance's housing for demons and instability**

**Spacedaddy:** Perfect.

 

 


	2. Enter: Matt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here comes the meme #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance- razzledazzle  
> Keith- Kogayne  
> Shiro- Spacedaddy  
> Pidge- berd  
> Hunk- MasterChef  
> Allura- PrincessBitch

**Lance's housing for demons and instability**

**10/01/17**

**6:02 PM**

**PrincessBitch:** Im bored send help

**berd:** where r u

**PrincessBitch:** at my house. my uncle is going around being flamboyant again and he decided to try something new for dinner and burned it

**razzledazzle:** Allura, the only thing he can't burn is that weird goo stuff he makes. And it's tasteless.

**PrincessBitch:** Well he...tries...

**berd:** doesnt cut it. im lucky i have hunk living with me or id be living off of ramen and cereal

**razzledazzle:** I would say same but i know how to cook

**berd:** and knit

**MasterChef:** and clean. our house would be a dump if it weren't for you man.

**PrincessBitch:** you multi-talented bitch you

**razzledazzle:** I can think of other ways i'm talented ;)

**berd:** EW LANCE NO NOT MY ASEXUAL EARS

**MasterChef:** SAVE THAT FOR THE BEDROOM WITH KEITH

**razzledazzle:** i meant swimming ya nasties

**PrincessBitch:** That's not what you meant lance. We all know it

**razzledazzle:** ;)

**Spacedaddy:** why am i friends with any of you

**PrincessBitch:** Shiro!!!!

**razzledazzle:** Daddy!!!!

**PrincessBitch:** stop

**Spacedaddy** stop

**berd:** stop

**MasterChef:** stop

**razzledazzle:** no

**razzledazzle:** cant believe you guys dont appreciate my humor

**berd:** lance your "humor" is sexual references and flirtatious puns.

**razzledazzle:** STILL !!! maybe i should add someone who would enjoy :'(

**Spacedaddy:** dont

**razzledazzle** has added **Matt** to **Lance's housing of demons and instability**

**razzledazzle:** too late

**Matt** has changed their name to **harambe**

**berd:** NO FUCK NO

**harambe:** MY DARLING LITTLE SISTER~

**berd:** KICK HIM OUT  _MAKE HIM LEAVE_

**MasterChef:** Matt no that meme is dead

**Kogayne:** What'd I miss?

**berd:** YOUR BOYFRIEND ADDED MY BROTHER TO THE GC

**harambe:** hey keefy boi ;)

**Kogayne:** Oh fuck no.

**Kogayne:** Get out.

**harambe:** idk m dude im havin a good time here being harassed

**PrincessBitch:** Uhhh ,,, who is this?

**MasterChef:** Oh yeah Allura and Matt haven't met yet

**harambe:** Hello my name is the man of your dreams ;)

**PrincessBitch:** oh great another lance

**berd:** dont you mean lonce

**PrincessBitch:** ARE YOU GUYS EVER GOING TO STOP WITH THAT!!! I have a british accent so what if i pronounce it differently than you guys do!! its only natural for me!!!!

**harambe:** damn shes shook

**harambe:** But a british accent? Nice ;)))

**Spacedaddy:** matt stop

**razzledazzle:** this isnt where i wanted this to go

**PrincessBitch:** obviously

**harambe:** what do u mean it isn't where you wanted this to go??? when im here it can only go up ;((((

**PrincessBitch:** is it just tradition for flirts to make every expression into winky faces?

**razzledazzle:** yes

**harambe:** yes

**berd:** yes

**MasterChef:** yes

**Spacedaddy:** Yes

**Kogayne:** Yes.

**PrincessBitch:** ,,,

**harambe:** so why am i here again

**razzledazzle:** so i could have someone in this chat who appreciates my humor ;(

**razzledazzle** has made chat history available

**harambe:** ah i see

**berd:** ok its been a fun time now leave

**harambe:** nah i dont feel like it im enjoying myself here ;)

**Kogayne:** Matt, leave,  _now._

**harambe:** hostile, keith. now for that im not going to leave

**PrincessBitch:** maybe we should keep him? who knows where this will go plus i wanna know pidges brother

**Spacedaddy:** You shouldn't have said that allura

**harambe:** I KNEW YOU WOULD COME AROUND PRINCESS !!!!!!

**PrincessBitch:** i fucked up didn't I?

**berd:** yes. yes you did

 

 


	3. corn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance- razzledazzle  
> Keith- Kogayne  
> Shiro- Spacedaddy  
> Pidge- berd  
> Hunk- MasterChef  
> Allura- PrincessBitch  
> Matt- harambe
> 
> Guess who's updating again??? ;)

**Lance's housing for demons and instability**

**10/03/17**

**3:24 AM**

**berd:** do pigeons have feelings

 **MasterChef:** I mean you dont so,,, no i guess

 **berd:** good point

 **Spacedaddy:** why are you guys up at 3:30 in the morning

 **berd:** why are you

 **Spacedaddy:** good point

 **Spacedaddy:** so how's everyone doing?

 **MasterChef:** Well pidge is questioning birds and im stUDYING FOR OUR ENGLISH QUIZ UGh

 **berd:** i wish i was a bird so i could fly away from my problems

 **Spacedaddy:** big mood

 **berd:** but daddy your eyeliner wings do that for you

 **Spacedaddy:** ...

 **Spacedaddy:** good point

 **Kogayne:** wtf why are you all spamming me at 3 am i was sleeping

 **berd:** cryptid spotted

 **MasterChef:** Keith??? Using inproper grammar and internet lingo???

 **berd:** Its more likely than you think.

 **Kogayne:** its too early for this shit im going back to bed

 **Spacedaddy:** Bye Keith

 **Spacedaddy:** You two should go to bed too. You have school in the morning

 **MasterChef:** night dad

 **berd:** but its only 3 am

 **Spacedaddy:** Night Hunk, go to sleep Pidge.

**Lance's housing for demons and instability**

**10/03/17**

**7:12 AM**

**razzledazzle:** why tf were you guys texting at three in the morning

 **razzledazzle:** wait nvm pidge is a gremlin who doesn't sleep, hunk was studying which i unDERSTAND, and shiro is shiro

 **PrincessBitch:** HELLO ALL IT IS ME ALLURA MY LONG HAIR IS SO LUXURIOUS IM THE PRINCESS OF ALTEA ADORE ME!!!!

 **berd:** oh hey coran whats up

 **PrincessBitch:** Aha berd! So you have seen through my facade!

 **berd:** its pidge and it wasn't that hard

 **PrincessBitch:** Oh hello Pidge! And i thought i was doing pretty well in imitating Allura!

 **razzledazzle:** you did your best coran and i respect you for that

 **PrincessBitch:** Thank you razzledazzle!

 **Spacedaddy:** oh Coran is here

 **Spacedaddy:** How are you Corn?

 **razzledazzle:** corn

 **berd:** corn

 **PrincessBitch:** I'm doing great Spacedaddy! Though my name is not Corn!

 **Spacedaddy:** give me a brea k

 **harambe:** let space daddy rest

 **razzledazzle:** 2k17

 **berd:** rip

 **PrincessBitch:** Haha! Spacedaddy its okjdalfjieawuidfja

 **berd:** ...

 **berd:** coran???

 **PrincessBitch:** thank god i got my phone back

 **PrincessBitch:** Anyways how is everyone on this fine morning

 **razzledazzle:** wait no i liked coran bring him back

 **PrincessBitch:** no. So h o w   a r e  y o u  a l l  t o d a y??????

 **berd:** contemplating the meaning of life.

 **Spacedaddy:** contemplating the meaning of death.

 **harambe:** drowning in the dark void that is humanity and existing

 **razzledazzle:** haVING A SPECTACULAR WHOLESOME DAy !!!1!!111!!11!!!

 **PrincessBitch:** are you all okay???

 **berd:** no

**Author's Note:**

> shit im having too much fun writing this


End file.
